How we got here – Part 1 :-)
While watching my kiddos interacting with each other earlier today, I thought I should share where we started out with our special needs, before I can really share our celebrations of where Jesus Christ has brought us, up to this point!
For brevity, I will be using the following abbreviations in my posts: DD14 (Dear Daughter age 14), DS12 (Dear Son age 12), DS9 (Dear Son age 9) and DH (Dear Husband).
About 16 years ago DH and I were married, after I had recently come out of paganism and witchcraft. I (and he) wanted to do things “right” (since I had already had two failed and abusive marriages…), so we lived separately until the day we were married (which was a new thing, for me). Anyway, within eight months after we were married, I found out that I was pregnant! Eight months after finding that out, we had a wonderful homebirth (with a lay midwife), and a beautiful baby daughter in our arms.
Things seemed perfect, at first. She slept through the night from day one, BUT that meant she did not nap during the day (I was okay with that)! The first thing that really bothered me, was that I could not rock her, AT ALL. As soon as I would start to rock, she would absolutely SCREAM (like I was hurting her)! So, whenever I held her, I had to sit completely still. That was the first image of motherhood shattered…
Then, it was time for me to go back to work… I had made arrangements to only have to work 3 days a week, and found a sitter about 10 minutes away from my job, so that I could nurse her on my lunch, and again, when I went to pick her up in the evening. Pretty soon, her sitter was saying that she was trying to make her take a nap, so that she could get a few things done around the house (looking back, I am sure this meant she was putting her in a playpen, in a room, with the door closed, while she just cried…).
I started to notice some things happening with my baby girl… She began to not want me to be away from her AT ALL, during any time I had with her. Not even in a different room of the house! This became very debilitating to getting ANYTHING done around the house! So, DH and I procured a backpack carrier, from a friend, and I was then at least able to make meals (I just could not make moves that were too sudden, or she would scream like she did when I tried to rock her…)! At about 3 months old, she began to scream in the church nursery, and she would not stop until they called me in to get her. She also said her first words, at this age, which were “dada”, “momma”, and “help”…
At about 6 months old, she said her first phrase of “ey-boy, ut up!” This meant “Hey-Boy, shut up!” You see, Hey-Boy was our dog, and he would bark a LOT whenever he was outside (this was when we realized we needed to be much more careful about the way we talked!). At about this time she also began to wake up screaming from night terrors, between 1 and 6 times a night! Because of this, she ended up staying in our room, in a crib right next to the bed, so that I could just reach over, calm her down, and go right back to sleep…
Although her language skills were very advanced, her physical milestones (like sitting up, crawling (which she never did do), fine-motor skills, and walking) were delayed… These things concerned us, but she did finally catch up a bit after about 18 months of age (she just never did crawl).
At about 16 months, her babysitter moved away, and she began to go to a Montessori day school. They too, insisted that she should take a nap (they would sit and rub her back, until she would fall asleep, and then let her sleep until I arrived there to pick her up!). This would mess up every workday, because then, at bedtime, she could not get to sleep, and would be fussy the next day! Then, I had her for my four days off… Finally, I would get her back to normal, and then the vicious cycle would start all over again on Monday.
After she finally began to walk, at 18-1/2 months old, she would have bouts of getting dizzy, walking like a drunken sailor, and many times vomiting from it. The doc told us to try ginger or Benadryl with her (he thought that she probably had an inner-ear virus). Both of those worked to help her! I was later able to find a ginger syrup (the only way I could get ginger into her…) at the health food store, and that is what we used whenever these bouts would happen again. This is when we began to realize that she had inner-ear (vestibular) issues.
http://vestibular.org/vestibular-disorders/symptoms.php (By the way, she has had almost ALL of these symptoms, and effects that are listed, in her life from this disorder…)
Around the time that she turned 2, I left my job, and pulled her out of the Montessori school. At first, she was nervous that she was going to have to go back to the school, and would fuss about it. Then, she began to settle down, became more trusting of me, more affectionate, and even weaned herself from nursing! I was beginning to get my daughter back!
When she was almost 26 months old, her first brother (who tried to come early…) was born at home too! One night, she went to bed an only child, and the next day, she woke up as a big sister, and loved it! 😉
At that time, she was still having her night terrors, so, now we had two kiddos in our bedroom with us! This new baby slept through the night from day one, would wake up with the sun, and would not nap during the day either…!
…..to be continued…..
Posted on May 2, 2011, in Introductions, Special Needs and tagged baby, Child, Childcare, church, family, Home, Home birth, Jesus, Night terror, Parent, sensory, sleep, sleep disorder, SPD, special-needs, vestibular. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.